Saturday 19 January 2013

19. Mandarin


TONY sits in the pubs sipping a pint of lager. DAVE marches in proudly.

TONY

Hi mate! How's it going?

DAVE

I'm sound pal! You ok? I got that tat done!

TONY

Oh nice one! You plucked up the courage then?!

DAVE

I did pal, it hurt like fuck I'm telling you! It's still sore...

TONY

I can imagine. Let's have a look then!

DAVE

Ok.. two secs

DAVE rolls the sleeve of his t-shirt up revealing a long tattoo containing the letters 我是个娘们

DAVE 

Good eh! Proper Chinese shit mate.

TONY

It looks really good matey, they've done a top job on that. Do you know what it means?

DAVE

Yep. It means 'Like a tiger with wings'! How cool is that? 
I look well buff with that on my guns man!

TONY


Yeah it does look great, honestly. I think the translation might be a little bit out though...


DAVE


What? How would you know? What do you mean it's out?


TONY


Well you remember I did International Business at uni?


DAVE


Yeah... so?


TONY


I also studied Chinese for three years. It was a joint honours degree.


DAVE


Oh. I didn't know that. So what is the translation?


TONY


Well I suppose the most direct translation in English would be.. well er..


DAVE


What?? Come on tell me.


TONY


'I am a wanker'.


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