12. Play date itinerary for Tom

3pm

Arrive, meet and greet

3.10pm

Tell someone you've done a poo when you haven't, prompting a full inspection from an adult.

3.20pm

Actually do a poo. And a wee.

3.40pm

Pick up some lego, throw it at someone.

4.00pm

Start crying, just because you can

4.15pm

Run around manically, shouting something weird, like "I'm being chased by the rabbit", freaking out all the adults and other children.

4.30pm

Draw something that resembles a rough squiggle and tell everyone it's a drawing of one of the girls in the playgroup.

4.45pm

Draw something that looks suspiciously similar to the previous 'masterpiece' and tell the rest of the group you've drawn a boat.

5.00pm

Forcefully take a Thomas the Tank Engine toy off little Dave, making him cry. Get told off. Start crying too, just because it seems to be fashionable.

5.15pm

Have a little snooze. Why not eh!

5.45pm

Wake up in time for mummy arriving, and then tea!